Goodness Gracious! It's been a few weeks since I blogged, hasn't it? I have actually gotten busy this time of year. Not necessarily with Holiday shopping and preparations either. (I have yet to put my Christmas tree up!). I have been busy with the increase in rehearsals, ballet classes, and work schedule for my husband. Normally this wouldn't stop me but on top of it all I have been struggling spiritually.
I have just come through a period of "feeling" lonely or unable to really articulate this "alone" feeling. It actually took a few weeks until I understood what was going on. I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to or anyone who would understand "my" struggles. But the funny thing is that it wasn't true. There are people around that did understand my struggles. And God provided the right people to minister to me without me even having to ask. Many of the older women at my church had the discernment to ask me how I was doing. And I couldn't just say "fine. How are you?" They wouldn't settle for that. Do you ever feel frustrated in our culture that usually when people ask how you are doing, they want to hear "fine". Not "How are you doing, really?" But after I told the third inquisitive person that I was feeling a bit lonely I started to feel like God was saying "You are not alone. I told you I would never leave you or forsake you. Stop murmering and complaining in your heart." I learned a valuable lesson over the last few weeks. I had known that you cannot just tell anybody all of your problems because not everyone cares or will react in a comforting way so I was apt to be more quiet about it. I always thought that I would eventually end up with that BFF that we could call and talk everyday, hang out with the kids and help each other with house projects. Really. I know some of you might be laughing and telling me to "get real". Some of you might be feeling the same way, and some of you may be fortunate enough to have this person in your life. But the interesting thing is that God has come to me through many other women in my life.
The older women brought encouraging words to me. They shared their exact same experiences with me. They encouraged me to be contented, enjoy my children and husband, and remember I am fortunate. It is has been a year since we transitioned churches and sometimes I really miss seeing people on a regular basis. Life is full of transitions, and sometimes you might feel alone but God is there. I may not have that BFF but God wants to be my BFF. He is the most wise BFF! He really knew what I needed and through His Holy Spirit working in Christians around me collectively He spoke directly to my heart through church members, mature women, sermons and His Word. People aren't consistent in your life, and that is OKAY and NORMAL but GOD IS ALWAYS CONSISTANT! Sunday I shared my testimony (which I would not normally do) and others told me that they felt the same way or had gone through the same thing or noticed how I was feeling. I learned that it's important to share how God takes you through your struggles because it can make a difference to someone else. It's not for you alone. We live in a very fast paced time in America but humans are still humans. We still have social, spiritual, emotional, etc. needs. So the next time you ask someone "how are you?" and they respond "fine". If you think it's appropriate say, "No really. How are you doing?" You might have an opportunity to deepen a friendship or minister to someone else. And if you are the one struggling be patient, trust God and don't waste time your time complaining beucase God sees you, He sees your struggles. He promised to never leave you or forsake you. When He shows up He fulfills your needs-just be patient.
